At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
