Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
My dora the explorer band aid does not cover up the shame i feel right now
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize
