I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
oh man. maybe i should puke on his dick? just to test how much he loves me?
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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