its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Randomize
