I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
Randomize
