I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Randomize
