Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Randomize
