i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
My mom asked me if I ever go on dates. I had to suppress the urge to ask if having casual sex with a freshmen counts as dating
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
