don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
She's seen your dick through your pants. You don't need to ask
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