when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
