I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
Randomize
