Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
