you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Randomize
