She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Randomize
