D3 body, D1 cock
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
