We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Floor bacon is actually really good
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
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