Me too!
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
At one point, the bartender wrote out the words "please kill me" on some receipt paper and slid it across the bar to me.
Randomize
