Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
