But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
