I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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