Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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