We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
