I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
