You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
