And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
Randomize
