if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
