So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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