someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
