he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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