some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
