In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
No more Irish car bombs ever.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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