Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
