Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
After the day I've had, I can't decide if donuts or fireball would be the appropriate priority.
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
