I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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