You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Randomize
