it wasn't lemon gatorade
I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
Randomize
