is it true guys wash their penises in the sink if they think they're getting laid at a bar?
it's more of a rinse.
why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
