Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize
