All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
