Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
