Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
