my being single is dangerous.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
