I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
No stitches, just platelets and will power
Just woke up on a couch in the FIJI house with 2 missed calls from someone I saved in my phone as "Some DU Kid Named TJ Maybe"
you make me proud to be your friend
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
