My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Randomize
