kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
How do u even exfoliate your vagina
i was so proud for not passing out at the same time as usual. i screamed that i had a "new personal best!" then some jackass explained daylight savings.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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