So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
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