just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
