Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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