Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
i now understand why vodka
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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