I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
I told him to take his man panties off and take the fucking Jaeger bomb already, so no to a 2nd date
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
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