im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
He was actually surprised when I poured myself a glass full of straight vodka. Clearly he doesn't know me as well as he thinks.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
