I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Randomize
