I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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