people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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