I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Randomize
